#and endo w calloused hands

[evergreen-endo]

TORN FROM YOUR SILHOUETTE — Y. ENDO + C. TAKIISHI

summary: in a feat to fill a void in his own relationship with takiishi chika, endo yamato’s love consumes you until there’s nothing left. cw: 18+ mdni. gn! reader. angst w/ no comfort. nsfw. reader is referred to as pretty, sweetheart, baby. yandere themes, dubcon, highly manipulative, toxic behavior, depictions of depression, polyamorous relationship, abuse (takiishi hits endo), one brief mention of blood. wc: 5.1k. a/n: please see content warnings before reading. lots of themes/plot points are implied, and lots of little timeskips. please feel free to send asks if there’s anything unclear or if there’s anything you’re unsure of. :p obviously self-indulgent. I really love these two. hope you enjoy <3

I.

You wake up in a grey room. The curtains are drawn; no sun seeps through to warm you. Despite being draped in layers of blankets, you shiver at the sound of his quiet, shallow breaths from behind you. You can’t find it in you to turn over, or get up. So you lie awake for a while, stiff and unmoving and blanketed in some kind of gloom you can’t shake.

You aren’t sure how much time has passed when you feel a dip in the bed behind you, soft murmurs and a grunt followed by a light smack, because he’ll always wake Takiishi first. Another dip, this time heavy enough to shift your body backwards, and his cold, chapped lips press against your cheek. He greets you with a cheery tone, as he always does in the morning, “Time to get up, sweetheart.” His calloused palm sweeps over your upper arm; another gesture he wishes Takiishi would take as well as you do.

You can’t help but yearn for how things were before.

It was nowhere near romantic, a rainy day and some dark alley and you’d been doing this for a few weeks— responding to his texts at random times of the day just to meet up and do a whole lot of nothing. 

You shoot teasing banter back and forth, he flusters you every now and then, and you make him laugh. It’s new for him. Refreshing. He comes back for more and more, obsessed with the push and pull.

He invades your personal space to compliment you— caging you in to tell you you’re so pretty under the street lights, or you have the most wonderful laugh, or he loves the way you can make him smile so easily. He gets so close all you can see is him. The vignettes of dark clouds behind him are mostly obscured by black curls, weighed down with raindrops. Every word he says is paired with a dreamy lidded stare into your eyes, and you’re always so sure he’ll lean in. But he whirls around, changing the subject and leaving you blushing, and feeling a little stupid.

When you’ve finally decided he’s just playing with you, leading you on out of boredom and keeping you around as eye candy, it’s nearly impossible to hide your disappointment. He just can’t get a smile out of you, and he wants to smooth out that furrow between your brows. So he does what he does best, staying persistent, poking and prodding at your cheeks, whining and pouting for you to just give him that pretty smile he loves to see.

But your head hangs low, averting your gaze as you start rambling about needing to get home, it’s so late, and the weather’s gonna give you a cold. The last thing he wants is to see you turn your back on him, and he takes hold of your wrist to spin you around, using his other hand to lift your chin.

His sad eyes search yours until they land on the pout of your lips. Always so tempting. He moves without thinking, pressing a soft, sweet kiss to your lips that sends a shiver up your spine— if it’s because of the shock or the cold rain that falls on your head, you can’t tell.

The last thing he expects is the way you kiss him back so desperately. 

Thunder rumbles in the distance as your heart pounds against your ribcage. His kiss is consumption; using the curve of your lips and the slip of your tongue to feed his desires. Even better, you pull him in with hands around his neck. Greed grows as he tastes you, coming back for more and more, feeding off the way you match him. It makes him giddy, so he squeezes at your waist as if to say, thank you for wanting me.

He wishes he could get all his oxygen through you. His lungs almost burn as he pulls away for a breath, ready to dive back in even as his knees wobble, weak and threatening to give out. In a way, it feels good. Endo’s always loved at his own detriment, after all. So he leans in before he’s ready, only to be stopped with a gentle hand to his chest.

“Breathe with me for a second,” you pant.

“It hurts,” he laughs. 

You feel it too, the discomfort of trying to give your lungs air after depriving them. You offer an olive branch. “Wanna stop?”

Lighting strikes. For an instant, the sky shatters into pieces, bright white illuminating just the rims of his cheekbones while his features fall into darkness. An agonizingly slow rumble crackles through the air, and a second of silence passes before it crescendos into a deafening boom. His voice is imperceptible, but the movement of his lips is unmistakable.

Never.

You were comfortable for a long while. How couldn’t you be— he worshipped you. There wasn’t a thing you could’ve asked for that he couldn’t get you, and all he ever asked for in return was affection. To be heard, to be seen, and to be touched. It was easy to listen to him ramble for hours about nothing and everything, and you picked up on what bothers him in no time. You were there to ease the burden on his heart that he tried so hard not to acknowledge. His arms wrapped around you so perfectly you’re sure with enough time, the two of you could have melded into one. 

And in return for your affection, Endo practically kissed the ground you walked on. 

You’d worried from the start that his admiration was too good to be true— a part of you knew you were too vulnerable to get involved with anyone new. Pain once nestled deep in your ribcage, wrapped in vines and thorns to barricade a broken heart, yet seizing your breath with every move. 

It’s why the love he gave you felt so intoxicating, addictive in the way he poured his all into your being without hesitation. Feeling wanted— it’s what you needed at the time. Little did you know that Endo Yamato’s want is more than that; it is all encompassing, it is consumption, it is a trap. 

Endo had found you beautiful, caught up in your glow until it became blinding— an incandescence that drew him in until his temples throbbed, spots consuming his vision. Stubborn, his palm casted a shadow over the light that blinded him, peeking out between two fingers. 

In his efforts, he only dimmed you down. The pressure was too much, or it didn’t exist at all, you can’t ever be sure.

The two of you often lie in your bed late into the night. Lights off and under covers is how you share thoughts with each other never before shared with anyone else. A confessional, of sorts.

“I hope I can introduce you to Takiishi soon.”

“Why haven’t you?”

He considers it for a few seconds. “I think I’m nervous.”

You roll towards him. It’s dark, and he’s staring up at the ceiling. “Because you want us to get along?”

You sound so hopeful. It makes his heart flutter. He sighs, “He means a lot to me, you know.”

The implications of his statement make your shoulders feel heavy. “I know.”

Ding. Ding. Ding.

From: Endo Yamato Miss you.  Where have you been? Am I gonna have to stop by and see you myself?

You ghosted him a while ago, and you swear you can feel his eyes on you. He hasn’t done anything, but he hasn’t stopped texting you either, and the timing of it seems to always be when you’re feeling your worst. It makes you feel paranoid, haunted, paralyzed. 

It’s silent in your apartment, with the exception of a ticking clock and a leaking faucet. You know you’re alone, but you never really trust what you think you know anymore. 

Flitting your eyes to your phone, you heave a sigh. How did things ever get so complicated?

Endo gives you butterflies, really. Hope sits heavy in your chest, flushes over your cheeks at the thought of being missed. Being wanted. And there he is, enticing as ever, with open arms waiting to sweep you off your feet and spoil you. 

A few months away from him and you were lonely. He’d given you so much, everything you asked for and more; he’d just about smothered you in affection and without him, you felt a void. An emptiness that deemed your own self soothing futile. Isolation forces your hand.

To: Endo Yamato Drop a pin. I’ll be there in 10.

II.

You understood what Endo saw in Takiishi when you met him. 

He was exactly as Endo described him, beautiful, unpredictable, self-serving, and not too big on talking. And yet, Endo yaps his ear off the same as he does to you. You briefly wondered if he ever looks at you the way he looks at Takiishi. 

Playing it safe, you kept your distance. Endo fed the both of you a candlelit dinner of burgers and fries– Takiishi’s favorite– gushing about how excited he was for the both of you to meet. Knowing what you know now, you felt like an intruder in their home. At the same time, it hurt your heart to watch Endo pour his everything into a basin that drains it all out. 

Takiishi knew Endo had been seeing you, and he wasn’t sure he cared. In fact, he rather enjoyed the silence and an entire bed to himself at night. He had access to his card, and Endo kept the kitchen stocked, and he came home almost every day anyway, just to check on him. There was always a mess to clean up after; dirty dishes and trash on the coffee table, used towels on the bathroom floor. Nothing unusual, yet.

Until the day Endo comes home, greeting Takiishi as usual, tainted with your fragrance. Takiishi isn’t sure why he feels such a knot in his gut, but the distance it takes for him to feel the need to swing is cut in half by your lingering scent in the air. A familiar metallic smell fills Endo’s senses. 

You hadn’t expected Endo to come back that night. Opening the door, your heart drops to your gut. Dejected, sad eyes and a bruised nose. You beckon him in, sitting him down and holding him gently until he’s ready to speak.

“...I don’t think Takiishi wants me to go back home anymore.”

You freeze. “What? Why not?”

His voice trembles, “I can’t leave him.”

“You don’t have to, baby. Where’s this coming from?”

He babbles, rambling, taking breaks to sniffle, replaying the scenario from his perspective. Guilt brews inside of you, even more so when you realize you don’t exactly want him going back home to that anymore, either.

“It sounds like he might be jealous, sweetheart.”

He shakes his head no, black tendrils flopping around frantically. “It’s not like that. It’s– he can’t.”

You sigh. “The Endo I know wouldn’t say that. He’d say Takiishi can do anything.”

He perks up just a bit at that, a forced smile wobbling onto his lips. 

“But…there is one thing he can’t do, in my opinion.”

He sniffles, glossy eyes meeting yours expectantly.

You want to tell him it’s for the best, to stay with you, and leave Takiishi to his own devices. You just can’t bring yourself to remove a piece of your lover’s own heart. So you indulge him, “He can’t live without you.”

Endo chokes on a sob, heels of his palm buried in his eyes. You rub his shoulders as they shake, as his heart splits in two.

You and Takiishi stare at each other, face to face. As much as you want this to work out for Endo’s sake, the way Takiishi looks at you makes you feel small. Determined, you step aside, walking right past him. “Excuse me.” You feel his stare even as your back is turned.

Though your house hasn’t been sold yet, Endo helps you move most of your things into your new bedroom at his shared home with Takiishi. He stays out of the way for the most part, holed up in his own bedroom or out doing what you assume to be nefarious things. One day, you think you see him leave with fireworks in hand. 

The plan to share a living space with Endo’s boyfriend who isn’t fond of you, to say the least, clears up a few issues. They can spend time together until Takiishi inevitably gets overstimulated, smacking Endo away so he trails into your room like a sad puppydog. It means that you and Takiishi both get reasonable amounts of alone time, and Endo can spend as much time as he wants with his two favorite people. In a perfect world, it could’ve worked out this way forever. 

The summer months are an illusion of bliss. The little moments you share help you hold it together; keep you sane.

“Yamato, quit!” you giggle, lightly sputtering as he presses a dripping ice cream cone against your lips. 

“You wanted some though, didn’t you? Don’t be shy, have some more!” 

“It’s— stop! It’s getting all over me!” With all your might, you push against his forearms as sticky vanilla seeps through the linen of your pants. 

His smarmy smile breaks through, a glint in his narrowed eyes, “Is it just me or have we had this conversation before? I’m getting deja vu.” 

You glare. He giggles. Takiishi’s in some other world. 

It’s nearly the same as when you first met, but the lightheartedness is only temporary; a breath of fresh air that threatens to run out, leaving you suffocating and begging for help.

You have to walk on eggshells a bit with Takiishi.

You’ve seen the way his mood swings with Endo, who is admittedly a lot less careful than you in general, and from what you’ve seen, you really don’t want to be on Takiishi’s bad side.

Endo left ages ago to pick up Takiishi’s favorite food on the other side of town, leaving you two alone in the house together. It’s been quiet since the second the front door closed on Endo’s way out. But you know Takiishi is patching up his jacket in the spare room, meticulously sewing a hole shut that he obtained in a scuffle with some randoms he picked a fight with last week.

The room he works in is on your way to the living room, and to your surprise, he never really closes the door. You can’t help but take a peek at him every time you pass, but he never looks up. 

Today, you walk slow, feeling nosy. He’s hunched over the desk, working a needle through fabric with a carefulness you didn’t know he had. It’s easy to tell when his hair is air dried, red locks fluffy and light, ruffled and framing his face. The golden tips are loosely tied up in a messy bun, tendrils sticking out around the nape of his neck. You swear you catch the beginning of his eyes flitting towards you the second you pass the doorframe, and you wonder if he always notices your staring.

“Hey.” You freeze. A beat passes. You take a step back, just enough to peek at him from around the doorway. He doesn’t look up from what he’s doing, and he doesn’t say a word. You almost wonder if you were hearing things. When you open your mouth to ask what he wants, he stands, taking one step towards you and yanking you into the room with him.

You yelp, his grip on your wrist tight as he twists you so your back faces him. Suddenly, his chest is pressed against you, one arm wrapped around your waist while the other sweeps his sewing supplies across the table. 

“Takiishi— wh–” 

“I’m bored. Endo’s been gone too long.” With one finger, he pulls at the hem of your sweats until they sit just below the curve of your ass. A calloused palm smooths over you, slapping hard enough to leave a handprint when you flinch away from his grasp. His hand travels up, pressing an arch into your back and smoothing up your spine, stopping when his fingers reach the base of your neck. 

“Besides,” he starts, warm breath on your spine as he grinds against you, “I’ve been wondering what he finds so interesting about you.”

You didn’t intend for Endo to see you packing an overnight bag. 

“...Whatcha up to?” 

His voice nearly makes you jump out of your skin. You shoot forward, whirling around with wide eyes. How did he walk up behind you without a sound? “Yamato, fuck, you scared the shit out of me.”

His eyes flit behind you. “Going somewhere?”

You sigh, “I…think I’m just going to go home for a few days. Feeling a little homesick, I guess.” 

Panic takes over his features for a split second. It’s like he forgets to breathe before he speaks.

“Home? You don’t feel at home enough here? Your old house is empty, baby. You don’t really wanna go back there, right?”

“Well, it’s not like that, I just—”

“Then what? Is it Takiishi? You know he’s not mad, it’s just how he is. Don’t let it get to your pretty little head.” His feet are inches from yours now. He won’t let you get a word in. Vines tighten in your chest. He rambles on. “C’mon, let’s put these down.” Snatching your bags from your hands and placing them on the bed, he removes your things as hastily as you’d packed them away.

You breathe in deep. “No, stop, listen, I just want to be alone for a while, I’ll come back–”

He interrupts you. His soft, reassuring tone replaced with something stern, “That’s not good for you and you know it.”

“Don’t tell me what’s good for me like you know,” you snap.

He freezes, meeting your eyes. His features twist even as his eyes widen. “So what, all of a sudden I don’t know you?” He scoffs, standing upright. It’s not often you see him like this, intimidating, towering above you. He tsks, “Sweetheart, please. Don’t look at me like you’re scared. C’mere.” It seems like he waits for you to open your mouth before moving behind you, one arm wrapping around your waist as the other sits atop your head, gently scratching just the way you like. You can’t help but melt into his palm for a moment, even though your shoulders tense up. 

“There, there, that’s better. See, I know just the way to calm you down, right baby?” His voice is low as he leans down to speak against your ear, “Now tell me, who is it that knows you better than I do?”

You tug against his hold. “Endo, nobody, this is what I mean, I just need to—”

“You need some rest, I know, I know. Come lay down with me.” 

He takes you with him as he falls back onto the bed, cradling you and petting you until a silent tear falls down your cheek. Defeated.

You’d never deny the way Endo makes you feel worshipped. Sinking into you with a look of awe as you molded perfectly to fit him inside, “L-love you. Love you so much, I can’t— fuuuck!” Endo’s voice is often laced with such desperation, breathy and whiny as if a second of proximity was lost, he’d fall apart. He clings to you tightly as though the slick sweat on your bodies threatens to let you slip past his grasp. 

Though you’re sure it was for you, how could you ever be certain when Takiishi’s in the room, too? 

Takiishi truly creates the rhythm, teeth latched to the muscle of Endo's shoulder as he thrusts into him. Warm tears fall against your chest, and the weight on top of you is nearly suffocating. The way Endo whines and sobs, throbbing inside you makes up for it. He’s delirious with pleasure, sandwiched between his lovers, and you wonder how someone so enveloped in love can be so miserable sometimes.

You suppose he’s not the best at picking them, but your gratitude for the view above you outweighs your judgment. 

Takiishi is rough, a knee knocking into your side when he readjusts for leverage. Suddenly, you’re no longer caged in, Takiishi having snatched Endo’s arms to hold behind his back. You watch his eyes roll back into his head before Takiishi thrusts hard enough to knock the wind out of both of you. You roll your own hips up, teaming up to match his pace and ruin Endo in the process. He babbles how he can’t take it, it’s too much, but Takiishi shuts him up with an arm around his neck, capturing him in a chokehold and rolling his hips against him. The strangled groans and depraved loll of his tongue is enough to do you in.

He collapses on top of you when he comes undone, whispering declarations of love into your skin. Pushing away sweaty locks of hair, you press barely-there kisses onto his forehead. His entire body twitches, so overstimulated you almost feel bad for him. The proximity lets you hear his voice clearly, even as he pants between each broken sentence, “...Love you. S’much. ‘S so good. Love you. Love you.”

Takiishi flops down next to you to take a breather. He glistens with sweat. He’s beautiful and confusing to you, and you wish you understood where you stand with him. 

Endo’s head lifts weakly when he feels the bed dip, meeting his eyes. You feel like an outsider watching something you shouldn’t intrude on as they stare at one another, panting. Takiishi moves to press an unexpectedly lingering kiss to Endo’s cheek before standing to clean himself up.

You wonder how many times Endo has told Takiishi he loves him in secret. He never said it out loud, but you saw him mouth it on his skin, letting his tongue tease the soft skin of his neck in doing so, I love you. I love you.

Takiishi warms up to you— in his own way. He’s realized you keep Endo out of his space more than usual, which is…mostly fine. Sometimes, he’ll pop in when he’s feeling bored, staring at the two of you from the doorway for a while. His presence is hard to ignore, to say the least. You startle when you feel it, alerting Endo. Usually, he would notice first, had he not been giggling and pressing kisses into your neck.

“Takiishi!” His eyes always sparkle when he sees him. “Need somethin’?”

He blinks. “What are you doing.” You know he’s genuinely asking, but his questions sound like statements. His eyes flit to you before going back to Endo.

“Giving each other manicures! You want one? I’m not the best, but…” He nudges you, lopsided smile and raised eyebrows like a cartoon character. 

To your surprise, Takiishi checks his nails, considering them for a few moments before he walks in. He stands above the two of you, staring, like he doesn’t know what to do. 

“Here! Sit. I’ll get us drinks,” Endo chirps, letting Takiishi take his spot on the floor pillow. 

“Yamato, your nails aren’t dry, sit down.” He ignores you, flashing a reassuring smile and a careful thumbs up when you look at him in a panic for leaving you alone with Takiishi.

You turn around to meet the intense gaze boring into you, hands laid out on the small tray between you. You take a moment to observe them. They’re a lot less battered than you would have thought, soft in appearance despite the obvious worn and reddened knuckles, scars from split skin riddled about. It all suits him, you think. His nails are only slightly chipped, but a few are broken, presumably from throwing punches, but maybe also from his aggressive approach to opening snacks and jars. 

Motioning to his choice of lacquer colors, you twist to grab the polish remover, hearing a few small thunks of glass bottles on the table. When you turn, you find he’s picked a few colors, and he’s rummaging through your bag of nail charms and stickers. 

Endo returns with a full heart seeing the two of you together, matching polish to chrome powder as Takiishi nods along to your suggestions.

Endo stills, spilling into you, groaning in pleasure as you roll your eyes. As he trembles, panting and boneless from the aftershocks, you get an idea. Hooking a leg around his waist, you use the leverage to push him off, flipping the position so you’re on top. 

His eyes are wider than ever while yours remain low, an almost bored expression that makes his dick twitch. 

His mouth opens and closes as he stammers, shocked by your overtaking. He doesn’t get a word out before he’s hissing at the sensation of your palm wrapping around him and pressing him into your warm center. 

“Ngh— hah! Oh— oh fuck b-baby…” he babbles. You’ve always been fond of the way he sounds overstimulated. Being the one in control this time, though, is new territory for both of you.

Using him to work yourself closer and closer to your orgasm, an overwhelming pleasure builds up in your core that you haven’t felt in months. Adrenaline courses through your veins as Endo lays limp below you, practically melted. Messy black locks spread out on the pillow and his lidded eyes gloss over with lust and adoration. How long has it been since you’ve had the upper hand? Have you ever? 

The thought alone makes your stomach twist, chest suddenly tight as you feel the need to gasp for air. It’s strange, you think, how you simultaneously feel euphoric, so, so close to coming undone. 

In that moment, Endo brings a hand up to your hips, squeezing hard enough to make you jolt and ruin your rhythm. Goddamn him. Such a small change in pace and you’re back to where you started, high you worked so hard to chase dissipating into frustration. And yet he still looks at you with those eyes. 

With such a lost faith in him, you can’t imagine he didn’t do it on purpose. You feel as though he read your mind, got a keen sense that you felt some sort of power over him and he just had to remind you— to keep you in check. His palm feels like it’s burning through your skin, setting every nerve alight with lividity. How can he give you everything and take everything from you all at once?

You don’t even think before it happens. 

Smack. 

Everything stops. 

Your hips come to a halt, holding your breath. He isn’t touching you anymore, fingers hovering just above your hot skin as if he’d burned himself. Only the side of his face is visible to you, and you see pinpricks of blood rushing under the surface of his skin in the shape of your hand on his cheek. He lies there, still for what feels like a lifetime, just blinking in shock. 

Your mouth is dry. You stammer, “Yamato, I—“

“Do it again.”

He slowly rolls his neck so you’re face to face again, an eerily calm air in his demeanor. A look that says, trust me. You know you shouldn’t; you know that you don’t. 

But you raise the same hand, backhanding the opposite cheek, and he moans this time, dick twitching inside you. A giddy giggle makes its way through your bitten lips, hips slowly grinding again as you swing your hand across his cheek once more. 

The sting on your hand feels good. He chokes on his breath, writhing, hips bucking. You slap him again, speaking through a smile, “Quit moving.” 

It’s the most thrill you’ve felt in months.

III.

You can’t remember why you ever went back. Had you blocked Endo’s contact in the first place, you never would’ve ended up as the shadow of the person your lover loves most.

Endo picks up on it, of course. Nothing gets past him. The dark circles don’t go unnoticed, nor does the half finished food on your plate or the laundry piled up on the floor. He takes care of it all for you, like he always does. To take the burden off your shoulders, he’d do absolutely anything— with the exception of letting you go.

Hot, soapy water sloshes around you as Endo’s large hands work shampoo into your hair. His thighs cage you in, extra warm and slick against your skin. You sigh, exhausted, nearly sinking below the bubbles as you nod off against his chest. 

He frowns. “Just a little longer, sweetheart. Here–” he hooks a strong arm around your stomach, holding you upright, “How’s that? Comfy?” 

You huff in response. He feels so nice, but your chest hurts. Tight with the pressure of heartstrings that threaten to snap. You’re stuck– empty with him, empty without him. The stream of water against your skull quiets your thoughts for a few seconds. He feels like sobbing, squeezing you tight, head to his heart so you can hear the way it beats for you. 

Your entire being has grown dim. He no longer has to peek through his fingers to bear your light; instead, he shivers, reaching out to cling to you in hopes to feel the warmth you once engulfed him in.

Steam floats around the bathroom like a sauna as he wraps you up in a warm towel, sitting you on the counter so he can dry your hair, too. “We’re going out today. Just you and me. Anything in particular you wanna wear? I’ll bring it to you.”

He isn’t even sure you heard him. 

He drives you up to a mountain that overlooks the sea, cool air and wildflowers, your favorite spot since before the two of you even met. When you’d shown him originally, the first thing he thought of, of course, was Takiishi. He gushed to you how Takiishi loved high places too, and that you’d all have to come here together sometime. Somewhere along the way, your life before Endo and Takiishi was erased, replaced, as if there’s not a thing you could have just for yourself. 

The view brings tears to your eyes, but it doesn’t mean the same to you anymore.

The sight makes him smile. The sparkle has always been so beautiful on you, and he’s relieved to see you’re still capable of feeling anything. He works at the peel of a tangerine, citrus and sea salt filling his senses as he tries to steady his breath. Juice drips down his wrist as his trembling hand lifts a slice to your mouth, only then noticing the darkness of the sky. 

A total solar eclipse. The moon blocks the light of the sun, casting a shadow on earth. 

It hurts to look.

[kajibunny]

∘✩⋆˚˙how they hold hands with you! ⋆𐙚｡.✧˚w/ the wind breaker boys

✿ contains: slightly suggestive, fluff, hand holding headcanons ✿ a/n: my first time doing this type of style! <3 got this idea from when they featured kiryu and he was holding hands with a girl lol (๑>v•̀๑)~☆彡 orz at the banner yes i think it's so funny ashdndjd; hihi hope you cuties like it!  ✿ wc: 380

— has big, gentle hands. hands that feel like home, enveloping yours and encasing it in warmth, as he brushes his thumb along the back of your hand, rubbing circles around it, running his fingers over your knuckles.

large hands that will caress and hold you, and fingers that linger sensual touches all over your body, tracing every inch of it.

-> umemiya, hiragi, togame

— holds your hand tightly as if he never wants to let you go. he wraps his hand around yours and brings it close to his body. protective, ever so loving. "mine." he says, grabbing your hand, bundling it in his, and pulling you in closer.

he constantly plays with your fingers, a look of pure bliss on his face when you touch him in all his favorite places. whenever you tease him, he brings your index finger to his mouth, and gently bites on it.

-> sakura, kaji, uryu, chika

— rough and calloused hands against your soft ones, fingers intertwined. grasps it and places it on his chest so you can feel how fast his heart is beating just for you. brings your hand up to his lips and kisses it.

the same hands that pin your wrists down on the bed or against the wall whenever you two get intimate.

-> sugishita, endo

— no matter where the two of you go, your hand is always in his. he loves to playfully wrap his pinky finger around yours, then pretends to let go so that you'll want him to hold you even more. swings your hand happily while walking, light squeezes whenever he wants to get your attention.

he's so, so touchy, and loves to whisper sweet nothings in your ear. "my princess." he says in a hushed tone while he soothes and kisses the tip of your fingers.

-> kiryu, suo, choji, seiryu, nirei

© kajibunny 2024 / all rights reserved

[12tardis]

Shy Smiles  (Newt Scamander x Reader)

Warnings: none Requested: Yes! Lovely anon said ‘could you pretty please write a fic with Newt where it's just like a lot of fluff and shy smiles and looking at each other with the reader with loving eyes, maybe staying up till late just reading and whispering shy words of love, and holding hands, holding each other��. Anon, I’m sorry it took me longer than expected I hope you got through the uni week okay! You GOT this! 

Pairing: Newt Scamander x Reader 

Summary: Super short and sweet fluff drabble. The reader has always been the confident and affectionate one in the friendship but once their official relationship is established the tables turn. A/N: Thank you to lovely anon for the request I hope you’re feeling better! I’m sorry I took a while to write it I had a not-so-nice endo ep this week which left me falling asleep literally every time I sat down to write. I’m emotional AF this week. Uni is hard! I hope you enjoy and please send me more requests x 

Words: 2,534

Newt looked down at you curiously where you where curled up next to him on the couch, leaning on him just slightly and looking incredibly uncomfortable perched so precariously next to him. You were trying to give him personal space while at the same time resting your head on his shoulder as he read to you, his arm slung lazily over your shoulder. In truth you hadn’t really been paying much attention to the story at all because you were so hyper aware of Newt’s body pressed against yours and trying not to come across as too clingy. And you may have also been slightly distracted by the colour of his eyes in the afternoon sun.

Newt flicked his eyes away from you with a shy smile when he noticed your staring, continuing to read the book he had balanced in his right hand, subtly sliding his other hand from around your shoulder and to your waist. He let out a grunt when you suddenly jerked in response to his touch, elbowing him in the ribs hard enough for him to be momentarily winded.

“Oh my god, Newt I’m so sorry! Oh god I’m sorry are you okay?!”, you gasped, flapping your arms around in a panic before your hands were suddenly cupping his cheeks and Newt leant into your touch , catching his breath again.

“Y/N, it’s okay”, he smiled, blushing lightly when you set your hands on his chest in an attempt to soothe the spot you’d struck him. He shivered slightly at the way your hands slid across his pecs and over his ribs in your flustered state “Y/N, I’m okay!” , he repeated, letting out a breathy laugh as he lay his hands over yours, gently gripping your wrists in his large calloused hands.

It had been nearly 2 weeks since the day Newt had suddenly confessed his love for you and you had kissed him in response and thus your official relationship had began and he was still over the moon.

In your years of friendship you had been the more tactile and comfortable out of the two of you. It wasn’t an uncommon occurrence to to see you both hand in hand as you strolled around the castle. Or to find you perched upon Newt’s lap as you read a book aloud for the both of you or to find you sat with Newt’s head resting in your lap with your fingers tangled in his hair. And it definitely wasn’t unusual to see you both gazing at one another when you thought the other wasn’t looking. You’d both ignored everyone’s constant teasing over the years because it was blatantly clear to everyone else that you two were in love. Never ‘just friends’.

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It was towards the end of your second year at Hogwarts and you were stood in front of a very flustered looking Newt, waiting patiently for him to continue his story.

“W-we don’t have to go if you don’t want to. I just thought well-I thought you might like to see ”, Newt stuttered, his gaze darting around wildly as he started to fidget with his sleeves. He thought you might like to see the baby Pygmy Puff that he’d recently found but now he was stood in front of you he was worried he might scare off his one true friend.

You’d been incredibly accepting of his interest in magical creatures and you’d listened to many of his stories in rapt interest but he knew it was an entirely different thing to be faced with one of the creatures in the flesh.

You smiled gently at Newt, making sure you gave him the time to finish talking without interrupting him and when he finally finished rambling you took his hand in your own as if you’d done it a dozen times before. “I’d love to see your new Pygmy Puff, Newt.” you murmured gently, squeezing his hand.

Newt’s eyes widened, his gaze transfixed on your hand wrapped around his and he felt the all too familiar blush in his cheeks, eventually gazing back at you, a wide smile breaking across his own face. Your hand seemed to fit so perfectly in his own. So naturally.

He pulled you out of the common room and through the corridors, the smile never leaving his cheeks and he didn’t let go of your hand once that afternoon.

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Your 3rd year found you standing in front of Newt with your hand cocked on your hip as you raised an eyebrow at him. “You’re in my seat,” you said disapprovingly.

You’d been sat beside him in the Hufflepuff common room reading through your shared notes for Potions together in preparation for your exam the following day and Newt had obnoxiously taken your seat when you’d left to go to the bathroom.

Newt just smiled back at you smugly and shrugged “it’s my seat now. It’s quite comfortable. And much warmer here by the fire. I can’t believe I’ve settled for that seat all this time,” he teased, trying not to laugh when he saw the pinch of irritation appear on your face.

“Newt move!”, you huffed, folding your arms like a petulant child and glaring at him when he only laughed and gestured to his lean body “make me”.

And you glared at him challengingly for a moment more before you shrugged and smirked slowly “Fine! If you want to be like that I guess we can share,” you said before you sat yourself down sideways in his lap without warning, biting back your own laughter at the scandalised look on his face.

Newt threw his hands up in surprise, his cheeks growing hot as he stuttered in response “Y/N w-what are you doing?”,he breathed out as his heart thumped heavily in his chest.

You just smiled in response and stretched your legs out across the couch where he would usually be sat, slinging one arm around his shoulders for balance and picking your notes back up with your other, starting to read them exactly where you’d left off.

Newt found his arm coming to rest around your back on its own accord as he gazed up at you, his lips slightly parted and he knew then that he stood no chance in that exam the next day because the only thoughts in his head right now were all you.

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In your 6th year you were spending a weekend of your two week Spring break at the Scamander house as it had become tradition over the last couple of years.

The Scamander family was very accustomed to having you around by now. Newt’s parents were always glad to see the happiness that bubbled up in their youngest son at your presence and Theseus was just glad to have you around because it meant that for once Newt wasn’t rambling on to him about you. Instead he was rambling to you. And even he had to admit that it made him happy to see his brother so at peace.

Theseus had been sent to call you both for afternoon tea and he wandered out into the backyard, expecting to find you both in Newt’s shack when he stopped in his tracks. You were sitting under the cherry blossom tree, leaning back against the trunk of the tree and Newt was sprawled out across the grass with his head in your lap, half asleep with his eyes closed as you brushed your fingers through his hair slowly. 

Theseus raised his eyebrows in surprise as he took in the sight of you smiling adoringly down at his younger brother and the the way Newt looked so relaxed there in your arms. It clearly wasn’t a new position for the two of you. He smiled softly to himself and turned around carefully, slipping back into the house as quietly as he could so as not to disturb the two of you.

“They said they’re not hungry just yet.” Theseus called to his mother as he stepped back into the house.

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You had always been the first one to initiate almost all physical contact during your days at Hogwarts but ever since that fateful day 2 weeks ago it was as if the roles had been completely reversed.

Suddenly you were a stuttering, flustered mess, barely able to touch Newt without tripping over your words and Newt found it to be utterly adorable and endearing though he was hoping you would get over your nerves soon enough because he really really missed the way you used to cuddle him without hesitation.

“Can we...maybe take this to your bedroom?”, you suggested, nodding towards his room that was just down the hallway and slapping a hand over your face when you realised what you’d said “n-not like that! I just- I just meant we could lay down there and stretch out because-because you look so uncomfortable squished on the couch like this and I just elbowed you and oh my god I’ve just completely ruined the mood”, you whined, covering your face in embarrassment as you willed the ground to swallow you whole.

Newt’s eyes had grown to the size of saucers when you first spoke and he could have sworn his heart actually skipped a beat but then you were sitting there panicking and looking so bloody adorable he was certain his heart skipped a beat.

“Y/N...” he murmured with a small amused smile, waiting patiently when you kept rambling “Y/N”, he tried again and eventually reached out to pull your hands away from your face.

“I knew what you meant”, he smiled softly, doing his best to keep the amusement off his face because the last thing he wanted to do was embarrass you further. He pulled your hand to his lips, pressing a gentle and hopefully soothing kiss to the back of it as you watched him shyly, letting out a sigh of relief.

“Come on then”, he murmured, pulling you in the direction of his bedroom and feeling his own nerves start to grow again as he gingerly climbed onto his bed, shuffling over to make room for you. His own nerves were running rampant but he decided to be brave for you, knowing one of you needed to take initiative if you were ever going to get past this awkward phase.

You sat down carefully on the end of Newt’s bed as you looked around the room taking it in properly for the first time, avoiding looking at your boyfriend as you tried to calm your nerves. You tipped your head aside curiously when you spotted a beautiful white and purple flecked orchid sitting on the window sill by his bed and you shuffled towards it, gently brushing your fingers along the petals of the flower in awe.  “Did you know some people consider the orchid to be the most beautiful flower in the world?”, you murmured, your nerves momentarily forgotten as you gazed at the elegant flower.

“I know”, Newt murmured softly, watching you fondly as he leant in close to you “it reminded me of you,” he whispered, gazing down at you with a shy smile. You sucked in a quick breath as you took in his words “oh, you mean-“, you flushed when you found his face right in front of yours, seeing the pure adoration and love in his eyes as he nodded at you.

“Yes. I remember you telling me that in school and I remember thinking it was funny because I always thought of you and the first time I ever saw you smile when I saw the flowers in the Greenhouses”, he admitted, humming in surprise when you were suddenly kissing him.

You gripped the front of his shirt as you kissed him firmly, your cheeks warm as your heart thumped erratically in your chest. Newt sighed softly against your lips and gently cupped your cheek in response, moving his lips against yours delicately, unwittingly pouting just slightly when you pulled back from him. 

“Merlin Newt, you can’t just say things like that, it’s not good for my heart,” you grumbled, resting your forehead against his shoulder.

Newt chuckled softly, his hand flying up to brush his fingers through your hair on its own accord “you are my heart”, he whispered, relishing the way you nestled your face into his neck shyly.

“Newwwwwwt”, you whined to which he hummed, leaning back and slipping his fingertips under your chin to tip your face back up towards him.

“What? I mean it. I love you Y/N. More than anything else in this world. I know you’re nervous about us now that we’ve finally put our feelings out there but I don’t want you to worry. Nothing between us has to change. It can be just like it was before just...just with kisses”, Newt murmured with a slight blush of his own, keeping his gaze locked on yours.

You listened to him carefully, taking in his sincere expression and the look of love and understanding in his eyes and you found yourself nodding along, laying your hand over his and threading your fingers together “I’m sorry I just...I’ve been kinda stressed about not wanting to make you feel pressured. Or be annoying and clingy. I mean I know I’ve always been clingy and overly touchy and affectionate with you but now it’s different I just worry about...about scaring you off.”, you admitted softly, looking down at your intertwined hands.

“I’ve always cherished your touch, Y/N. That hasn’t changed and that will never change. You know I’ve always struggled with physical affection with everybody else. I’ve always felt honoured by your affection. You can make my entire day with one single hug.“ Newt squeezed your hands firmly in his own as he leant forward pressing a loving kiss to the top of your head. “Please believe me when I say I’ve never thought you to be clingy.”

You wrapped your arms around him tightly and pushed him back onto the bed, laying your head on his chest and claiming your spot nestled in his arms, tangling your legs with his and looking up at him. “I love you too. Even more than my plants.”, you whispered, smiling adoringly back at him though your heart was still beating erratically in your chest.

Newt made a noise of surprise when you suddenly pinned him back onto the bed, his arms wrapping around you instinctively as he felt himself blush from your close proximity. It was entirely a new sensation to hold you in his arms in his bed and he adored it already. “More than your plants?” He teased, rubbing small circles onto your back.

“Yes and I’ll love you even more if you read to me again”, you murmured, holding the book from earlier up to his face and Newt laughed taking it from your hands before he did just like that. And you lay there, resting on his chest and gazing up at him with a dopey smile on your face as you listened to the rumble of his voice in his chest combined with his steady heart beat and eventually falling asleep just like that. 

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